父母要啥给啥 英国产生现在就要一代

发布时间:2011/12/8   浏览次数:4347

Parents are creating an "I want it now" generation by indulging children"s every demand at Christmas, say experts.

In contrast to the generous boy in this year"s popular John Lewis advert, youngsters in Britain are becoming increasingly selfish, claim the education analysts.

Consumer-savvy children are forcing their families into racking up huge debts and risk becoming spoilt and dissatisfied in the future.

Behavioural consultant Chris Calland said: "Parents are desperate to make Christmas into magical fairytale for their kids.

"There’s nothing wrong with that as such. The problem arises when it means always giving into all our children’s demands - even if they are beyond our price range or not age-appropriate."

Ms Calland, who runs ‘Santa Says No’ style sessions with colleague Nicky Hutchinson, added: "Many of us go into so much debt providing the gifts our children want that we spend the rest of the year paying off the bills.

"Yet so often the parcels we’ve carefully wrapped, once opened, are just pushed away because the very thing our little boy or girl was once so desperate for, they have now lost interest in."

Ms Calland and Ms Hutchinson have drawn up a list of guidelines to help parents manage their offspring"s Christmas lists this year.

They say that adults can actually improve their relationships with their children by resisting "pester power".

Ms Calland said: "All too often we say yes because we want an easier life when the fact is we’re only building up problems for the future.

"We are helping create a generation of youngsters who are blind to the needs of others and the necessity of hard work. We are giving them a sense of entitlement that won’t serve them well as adults.

"Children learn fast – if we sometimes change our mind, they quickly realise it might be worth lying on the floor and screaming for it.

"Make sure you and your partner are working together on this. Be consistent. And try not to get caught up in competition with other family or friends."

专家称,父母们总是满足孩子圣诞节的每个要求,从而导致“现在就要”一代的产生。

教育分析家指出,和今年约翰•路易斯热门广告中那个大方的男孩形成对比的是,英国的年轻人现在变得越来越自私。

现在的孩子很能花钱,他们一面迫使家人债台高筑,另一面这种生活方式让他们可能被宠坏,未来还容易对生活感到不满。

行为顾问克里斯•卡兰德说:“父母们很想把圣诞节为自己的孩子打造成一个神奇的童话。”

“这样的行为本身并没有错。但如果总是孩子要什么就给什么,即使孩子提的要求已经超出了我们的经济能力范围或和孩子的年龄不相称也是如此,问题就产生了。”

卡兰德和同事尼奇•哈钦森一起举办了“圣诞老人说不”时装会。她补充说:“我们当中的许多人为了给孩子他们想要的礼物而欠了许多债,这一年中剩下的日子不得不在还债中度过。

“然而我们精心包装好的礼物常常是一打开就扔在了一边,因为我们的宝贝儿子或女儿对这件曾经渴望得到的礼物已经失去了兴趣。”

卡兰德和哈钦森已经起草了一个帮助父母们管理孩子今年的圣诞礼物愿望清单的指南。

他们说,成人们其实可以通过抵制“儿童消费力”来改善与孩子之间的关系。

卡兰德说:“很多情况下,我们答应孩子的要求是因为我们想让生活过得容易些,然而事实是,我们只是在给未来制造问题。”

“我们正在帮助培养出一代无视他人需要、不懂得辛苦劳作必要性的年轻人。我们这样做会让他们认为一切都是应得的,这种想法在他们成年后有害无利。”

“孩子们学得很快——如果我们有时候改变想法满足孩子的要求,他们会很快意识到也许躺在地上尖叫、吵着要东西是值得的。”

“请务必让你和你的伴侣在这方面齐心协力。而且要始终如一。尽量使自己不要卷入和其他家庭或朋友的竞争当中。”

 
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